Good things come to an end, and last night I watched the final eight episodes of BoJack Horseman on Netflix.
It's the best show I've ever watched. In fact, nothing comes close. The show is important to me. But I have a hard time recommending it to anybody - because for a animated series it's insanely real and at times can be overwhelmingly depressing. The show BoJack Horseman depicts addiction, depression, codependency, and relationships in an incredible way. If you're an addict or in recovery, try to give it a watch - although there may be some triggering scenes in there if you're a recovering alcoholic, sex-addict or drug addict. Addicts will find out something about themselves in each character. Also, if somebody you care about is an addict, please give the show a shot. It's eye-opening, and will help you see what's best not only for the addict, but for yourself as well.
I'm turning 40 this year, and I've been fortunate enough to never really lose anybody close to me to death (except for my dog) and I've never lost an important relationship before. It's all new to me. I'm trying to come to terms that there are some things that... simply just end. Whether they be marriages, friendships, lives, chapters in your life, or even your favorite television show. And sometimes there's nothing that you or anybody else can do to control the inevitable.
My wife told me a month ago that for the whole marriage she "tried so hard to love me." The implication in that statement is that she never really did love me, but she tried. And at the time she said this it crushed me. But I think that through our 20 year relationship the love was always there. Even now, I can feel that she cares deeply for me, my recovery and the path that I set out before me. But even though the love is there, sometimes love can't conquer divorce, death, or change.
In the end of BoJack Horseman, two of the main characters set diverging paths for themselves. They clearly have a love for one another, but in order to move on and to be happy they both have to leave each other behind, ending the relationship.
I understand my wife needs to leave me to find her happiness. It's impossible for her to be happy and still be in this marriage and I respect and honor that. It's shitty and I wish things were different. But there are small moments where I can see the beauty in it as well. Sometimes, to find happiness and wellness we have to leave behind the things that we love.
Sometimes I hold on to hope that my wife will "come to her senses" and will realize she will be happy if everything went back to the way things were. But "the way things were" doesn't really exist anymore. Things can't be undone. No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man. And I realize now that for her, there was no happiness to be found in the past. Not with what she knows now.
It's the best show I've ever watched. In fact, nothing comes close. The show is important to me. But I have a hard time recommending it to anybody - because for a animated series it's insanely real and at times can be overwhelmingly depressing. The show BoJack Horseman depicts addiction, depression, codependency, and relationships in an incredible way. If you're an addict or in recovery, try to give it a watch - although there may be some triggering scenes in there if you're a recovering alcoholic, sex-addict or drug addict. Addicts will find out something about themselves in each character. Also, if somebody you care about is an addict, please give the show a shot. It's eye-opening, and will help you see what's best not only for the addict, but for yourself as well.
I'm turning 40 this year, and I've been fortunate enough to never really lose anybody close to me to death (except for my dog) and I've never lost an important relationship before. It's all new to me. I'm trying to come to terms that there are some things that... simply just end. Whether they be marriages, friendships, lives, chapters in your life, or even your favorite television show. And sometimes there's nothing that you or anybody else can do to control the inevitable.
My wife told me a month ago that for the whole marriage she "tried so hard to love me." The implication in that statement is that she never really did love me, but she tried. And at the time she said this it crushed me. But I think that through our 20 year relationship the love was always there. Even now, I can feel that she cares deeply for me, my recovery and the path that I set out before me. But even though the love is there, sometimes love can't conquer divorce, death, or change.
In the end of BoJack Horseman, two of the main characters set diverging paths for themselves. They clearly have a love for one another, but in order to move on and to be happy they both have to leave each other behind, ending the relationship.
I understand my wife needs to leave me to find her happiness. It's impossible for her to be happy and still be in this marriage and I respect and honor that. It's shitty and I wish things were different. But there are small moments where I can see the beauty in it as well. Sometimes, to find happiness and wellness we have to leave behind the things that we love.
Mr. Blue - Catherine Feeny (Finale song from BoJack Horseman)
Mr. Blue
I told you that I love you
Please believe me
Mr. Blue
I have to go now
Darling don't be angry
I know that you're tired
I know that you're sour and sick and sad
For some reason
So I'll leave you with a smile
Kiss you on the cheek
And you will call it treason
Mr. Blue
Don't hold your head so low that you can't see the sky
Mr. Blue
It ain't so long since you were flying high
That's the way it goes
Some days a fever comes at you
Without a warning
And I can see it in your face
You've been waiting to break
Since you woke up this morning
Mr. Blue
I told you that I love you
Please believe me
Sometimes I hold on to hope that my wife will "come to her senses" and will realize she will be happy if everything went back to the way things were. But "the way things were" doesn't really exist anymore. Things can't be undone. No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man. And I realize now that for her, there was no happiness to be found in the past. Not with what she knows now.
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